All The World’s A Circus – William Thomas
Airline’s New ‘Passing Gas’ Policy. Triple Masking May Be Mandatory.
Booking an overnight flight to Europe and reading about all the erratic behaviour by airline passengers lately — I’m thinking that passing my pre-boarding COVID test might not be my biggest problem… passing gas might be.Amid the fighting and biting, … Continue reading
Our Parliament Is Now In Session —Let The Trash Talking And Back Biting Begin!
By tradition, members of the 44th Canadian Parliament took their seats in the House of Commons last week with the Usher of the Black Rod banging on the chamber’s door three times with his trademark ebony staff. This simple 671-year-old … Continue reading
Tim Hortons Partners With Justin Bieber. Yeah, Like Canadian Tire And Kanye West!
So about three years ago No Frills launched their ‘Hauler’ line of clothing and to match the store itself, all items are yellow. I thought great — that’s where I want to buy my bright yellow boxer shorts, scarves, T-shirts … Continue reading
My New Family Doctor Is Also The Clinic’s Assistant/Receptionist/Cleaning Lady
Have you noticed that our healthcare system is overworked, under appreciated and shrinking faster than a violet under a UV lamp?!?“Knock knock.”“Who’s there?”“Collin.”“Collin who?”“Collin all doctors! Collin all doctors! Five million Canadians need to book an appointment!” I was not … Continue reading
My “Pandemic Pinky Promise Procedure”— Trust Will Set Us Free.
This gd &#%! No good X!!X! Hellish ^?$! of a s**t show pandemic is making us all a little screwy!We’ve gone from lockdowns to grand openings four times in four waves. We almost had the original COVID-19 cornered and then … Continue reading
Dragnet’s Cold Case Files: Port Colborne’s Water
It’s been fourteen years since Port Colborne announced that the city has been losing over a half a million dollars a year in water that just kinda disappeared. Apparently it is still going on, albeit a lot less. Only recently … Continue reading
This Column Started To Cross The Border But Ended Up In The Toilet
Man, it feels good to almost get back to normal.After a chaotic election that created unrest instead of change, after the fourth wave of the COVID-19 has eased off until the fifth arrives, after the release of the two Michaels … Continue reading
What Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Needs Is A ‘Brain Guard’ Named Bill
“Justin my lad, my name’s Bill and I’m here to help.”“You’re going to help me win a fourth term?”“No, I said my name was Bill not God Almighty.”“I don’t get it.”“Sadly, son, there’s a Sahara Desert full of stuff you … Continue reading
The British Game Of ‘Silly Bugger’ Is Going Internationally Viral
The English rock band The Bus Station Loonies had a hit song “Playing Silly Bugger” about people and politicians acting the fool in the face of serious events.Once played exclusively by people like Gwyneth Paltrow and Johnny Depp, the game … Continue reading
Billionaires Rocket Into The Great Beyond! Sadly, They Keep Returning To Earth.
All of a sudden we are witnessing a brace of billionaires puttering around in space. First Richard Branson aboard Virgin Orbit rocketed into the ionosphere and nine days later Jeff Bezos followed on Blue Origin. At least six other members … Continue reading
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