The English rock band The Bus Station Loonies had a hit song “Playing Silly Bugger” about people and politicians acting the fool in the face of serious events.
Once played exclusively by people like Gwyneth Paltrow and Johnny Depp, the game of Silly Bugger is now spreading to whole countries where leaders, assuming the general public is a swarm of nodding psychopaths, are saying and doing things that are both false and frivolous.
Prime example: the scene of two Michaels and a Meng passing each other over the Pacific. After three years under house arrest at one of her two mansions in Vancouver worth $18 million, Meng Wanzhou strikes a plea deal with US prosecutors and on September 24th she boards a flight home to China.
At the same time President Joe Biden (not Prime Minister Justin Trudeau) forced China to release Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor as part of Meng’s not guilty plea. On September 24th both men boarded a flight home to Canada. Simple enough — Meng’s “get outta jail free” card ends the Chinese hostage taking of two innocent Canadians. China’s official reason for their release after 1000 days in captivity? Health concerns. The timing? A coincidence. Other things the communist dictatorship in Beijing wants us to believe? Panda bears do more than eat, sleep and poop. They also pose for pictures. The Weegers wear straight jackets to improve their posture. “Made In China” guarantees quality and longevity.
In 2018 North Korea and South Korea installed a telephone hotline so that ongoing communication might avoid future confrontation. Last week North Korea stopped picking up the phone! No, I checked, Bell is not involved. The phone system works. It’s just that North Korea is not answering the calls. Not even with a “get lost” answering machine message.
Other things North Korea wants us to believe? Kim Jong-un’s sister is still alive so he has not killed all his closest relatives. He once played a round of 18-hole golf with a score of… 18! He does not have his haircut with just any bowl but the Qing Dynasty $9.5 million Lotus Bowl. (No chips, therefore no sideburns.) In meetings with his best friend Dennis Rodman, they do not flip a coin to see who wears the wedding dress. Tree bark in North Korea is a popular snack.
In the UK, Brexit did not only create a critical shortage of nurses, tens of thousands of truck drivers went back to their EU countries and did not return. Last week a dire shortage of tens of thousands of truck drivers in the UK caused a petrol shortage, long lines, abandoned cars and protests. Boris Johnson who got elected with pro-Brexit lies and is now summoning army officers to drive petrol trucks has… dodged any blame for the catastrophe.
Other things Britain would want us to believe? The prime minister is smart. The weather is sunny. Prince Andrew is innocent. The full English breakfast is a healthy start to the day especially if it includes blood pudding. The Queen will respect the nation’s labour laws and retire when she turns 65.
By now we’ve all seen the horror show at the airport in Kabul, Afghanistan in which people jumped from the wings of departing airplanes, 73 were killed and 140 were wounded in a suicide bombing and thousands of Americans and their allies were left behind. President Joe Biden described America’s ‘cut and run’ as “an extraordinary success!” Other things President Biden would have us believe? His dog Major did not bite a White House security guard, it was chairman of the Joints Chief of Staff Mark Milley who did it! Biden would not like to have Democratic Senator Joe Marchin waterboarded. He has not begged Vice-President Kamela Harris to switch jobs. He has only suggested it.
Recent wildfires in Australia, the most devastating in the world have killed 33 people and 3 billion animals while destroying about 3,000 homes and denuding an area the size of South Korea. The frequency and intensity of wildfires are boosted by global warming. Australian PM Scott Morrison says he’ll likely not attend the upcoming UN Glasgow Summit, perhaps the last best chance we have of save the planet’s environment. Why? He says he’s been travelling too much and is tired of quarantining. No, really, why? Because Morrison is committed to keeping Australia the world’s second biggest producer and exporter of coal well into 2030 thereby spewing almost as much toxic soot into our atmosphere as China. Frankly, ‘Scotty From Marketing’ (think brains wired exclusively to business like Ford and Kenney) does not want to spend the conference sitting in the corner of the room wearing a Greta Thunberg dunce hat.
Other things Australia wants us to believe? That the island of Nauru and Manus are immigration processing centres and not prisons for foreigners. That Foster’s Lager is proof of God’s existence. That children must be at least ten years of age before they begin wrestling crocodiles.
Speaking of supreme beings, Vanuatu tribes on the Pacific Island of Tanna worship the late Prince Philip as their God. Honest. According to Chief Yapa they are still displaying Prince Philip memorabilia at ritualistic dances and pig roasts by way of mourning his death six months ago. The Duke of Edinburgh once visited the island and loved it because there were no tabloid newspapers. Other things the Vanuatu tribe worships are kava because Foster’s Ale is hard to get, and Queen Elizabeth’s patience. Prince Philip once asked an Australian Aboriginal elder if they still threw spears at each other.
Some time ago France made it legal for a citizen to marry a dead person. The take away? Weddings in France are the most boring in the world.
Silly Bugger is spreading faster than the Delta virus on cold air and close quarters.
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